Disappear Again

I am the worst at this
Stupid idea of free
I have no dignity
I wish I was dead

I can't understand
Why I'm so stupid
I can comprehend
I'm just retarded

The world passes me
Like a bullet train
I can't let me be
I want to disappear again

Sudden Death

Am I that invisible?
Or am I just a sham?
I think I'm invincible.
But I'd rather be calm

I'm the biggest loser
I'm just a poor excuse
Everyone knows I'm a user
And mentally obtuse

I hate every part of this being
And I think I'll never know
What does it feel while seeing
Sudden death come unturn.

The mud is Home

I feel the filth sinking,
Crazy hot in deep.
I am useless and relentless,
but somehow I am free.

My eyes are shut,
but I still see.
I see through bullshit.
I see through love.

How can this body be so hollow.
How can this soul be so free.
As I turn around and never follow.
As I close my eyes so I can see.

I'm so drowned in my sorrow.
All I can count are my miseries.
This child is not old enough for this horror.
This adult is dying within.